Why Feel Embarrassed to Return Something You’ve Bought

Let me narrate you a little story...

Every week while doing my own food shopping, I also take the shopping list of my old neighbour, Mrs M.D, which contains things her husband forgot to buy or were too heavy for him to carry. This week though she was not happy when I handed over her shopping because I had bought a big soya sauce bottle when she wanted only a small one.

She therefore asked me to return the soya sauce bottle and said she won’t be able to use it all and it would go to waste. You can’t really blame her because it’s just her and her husband and they don’t cook a lot of meals which require soya sauce anyway. However I was annoyed because I don’t usually like to return things especially if it was not that expensive to start off with. So I offered for her to keep the soya sauce bottle and I’d give her the money back (it was just £1 after all). She obviously said no as she didn’t want me to spend my money and asked me pleadingly to exchange the big bottle.

I had no choice than to tell her I would return the bottle but in my mind, I had already decided I would just buy her a smaller soya sauce bottle, refund her the difference and either keep the big bottle for myself or give it to someone I know. But then I wondered why it was such a big deal to return something I have bought when it was an honest mistake.

So where does the feeling of embarrassment arise from

Returning a product can sometimes be a hassle – you need to find time to go to the shop once more, probably queue up, and explain why you don’t want the product anymore at the very least. There are times though when it’s just our pride telling us otherwise. You see pride is a bad thing and the wealthier you are, the more proud you tend to get. Someone for whom every penny counts would not think twice and just return the product but someone who’s not going to miss the money will just let it go. Now compared to some rich people, you may not look very well off at all but when considering £1 can prevent a child from dying out of hunger in Africa, this obviously renders you very affluent. It’s all relative and depends at what angle we’re looking from.

In this instance, I thought if I went back to the shop and told one of the staff I wanted to return this big bottle, they would probably think of me as a miser. Among themselves, they would be pointing out how I came all the way back to get back 50 pence and they would be laughing at me behind my back. It was all about me and how the world would perceive me but that’s wrong.

How I overcomed this

First of all, it should never be about you. Put others before you and you’ll be happier! I know the mind will say the opposite because it only cares about the self. I don’t know how much the old couple gets from their pension or how much saving they’ve got but when I think about it, whatever they have or get from the government is everything they have. They are not able to work anymore because of old age, so it makes sense for them to buy only as much as they need to and spend their money wisely.

In the end, I just went back to the shop to exchange the big soya sauce bottle for a smaller one. I don’t know why I dreaded this so much but it was such an easy thing to do. I felt so much better afterwards especially when Mrs M.D was pleased to see I managed to return the big bottle.