Your Life Begins Now

Thursday, the 13th of May 2021

3.51am – The alarm of my smartphone wakes me up. It is still dark outside. I feel a bit foggy, my mind and body are still flying through the endless sky of my dreams over the clouds, far far away. It seems they want to fly a little bit longer and aren’t ready to be with me in the here and now.

I slowly become aware of my surroundings. It is still dark outside. Raindrops constantly patter down against my window. I wrap myself more in my warm, cosy bed. I am still tired and the sound oft he raindrops have a hypnotic effect on me; ohh wouldn’t it be wonderful to close the eyes for just one more minute?

Nonetheless I stretch my stiff body, feel every single centimetre of it. I wiggle a bit with my toes. Great, I am still alive and this is already the best what could happen today. Excitement runs through my body. Today is the day of my great journey. I don’t feel prepared, but on the other hand, what could prepare me for a journey like this?

I light the white candle next to my bed and watch the flame. It dances a bit and makes the air thereby visible. The flame makes me feel cosy and warms my mind and soul. I don’t like the electric light of a lamp in the morning. The flame of a candle is the first what I see in the morning. We live in a world full of overconsumption, of an overload of information, messages and news; even if I am not fully awake yet, it is my conscious decision what I let my eyes see. My mind and eyes thank me every morning and the flame welcomes me to my day.

I stand up, go to my window and open it. The rain made the air clear. I take a deep breath and fill my dry lungs with the fresh air. I look into the world. Early mornings has something magical. The rest of the world is still asleep. Sometimes it feels like an alternative reality. I feel solitude, but I am not alone. „The lonely mind in the busy city yarns for connection because it thinks human-to-human connection is the point of everything.“ (Quote by Matt Haig, The Midnight Library) When I stand there and look out of the window in the morning, I feel a connection between myself and the world. I feel connected to the fresh air, to the tiny, soft raindrops. A thought comes into my mind „There is so much more. Something beyond what we could imagine.“

I could stand there for ever.

I go downstairs and make a coffee in my espresso machine. The smell of fresh brewed coffee fills the house. I smile.

Then I sit at my window and take a sip of my warm coffee. It doesn’t matter what’s going on in my life or what will happen today. This is my favourite moment and I embrace it.

I see my backpack standing in the corner, already packed. I have no clue what I need on my journey, so I packed the essentials. Essentials are different for everyone. I packed my backpack with things I love. My ukulele to play music. I don’t know if I have access to electricity at my destination and I don’t want to live somewhere without music. Who knows whether I am able to understand the spoken language there, we all know that music is the common language. I also decided to take my favourite books with me. Stories, which touched my soul. Paper and pen for writing and drawing. I packed my life in my backpack. I would like to bring my plants for me, but I love them too much and don’t want to kill them. Therefore I wrote my flatmate a note and asked her to look after my plants and flowers for the time I am away. Of course I have a toothbrush and a towel with me. I want to take care of me, even if I am in the nowhere.

I shoulder my backpack. Its weight pulls me down. Worries, regrets, bad decisions, trauma, bad experiences; they are also in my backpack. This is the heavy stuff. I feel the weight on my shoulders and I already knew beforehand that I need strength to carry it. Mentally and physically.

I let my gaze wander through my room one last time, take the boarding pass from my desk and make my way to the airport.

It stopped raining and the dawn is beyond beautiful in its magical colours. The sun rises slowly and bathes the world in tones of soft rose and blue. I become a part of everything. You might ask yourself how this is possible. The answer is very simple; I let it happen. The birds are singing their morning songs, greeting the new day.

I am not drowsy anymore. I am here. Off to new adventures, ready to fall into the unknown. It is a journey of discovery. It will lead me into unfamiliar territory. I heard people talking about the destination, but the destination is not my aim. This is only about the journey. The journey is my life – every single moment of it. All I can do is taking one step after another.

I reach the airport. I have to admit that I get a bit nervous. I know that once I am in the plane, I cannot go back. I can’t delete experiences. I can’t explain all of this with my logical intellect. It is beyond that. I can’t even explain what I am searching for or what I expect from my journey. I just want to find enough courage to take a leap through the door. Was leaving my room already the leap through the door? I am wondering, what could I find?

The guys at the security point looked at me like ‚she lost her mind‘ when they saw all the stuff I have in my backpack.

They called my flight, I am a bit late, like always. I stepped into the plane and searched for my seat. There it is – 21A. A window seat, fantastic.

I put my handbag under my seat. In my handbag is my boarding pass and a map, which I got from a stranger in Budapest. That map could lead me actually to my destination. It was an adventure how I got the map. „But that is another story and shall be told another time.“ (Quote by Michael Ende, The Neverending Story)

Most of the travel bloggers write about how beautiful their destination is, but I would like to invite you to be part on a beautiful adventurous journey. The quote is often used, but it is true ‚Happiness is only real when shared‘.

I want to warn you, we could come into turbulence. We could come into a thunderstorm. We will meet difficulties. Life is full of ups and downs and I can’t plan it to make it comfortable for me or for you. We could meet confusion, frustration, anger, sadness or grief. It could be uncomfortable and challenging. This will be an intense time of personal growth.

Nevertheless we can laugh together, help each other, when we are in need. Sharing magical moments is beautiful, because then the memory stays not only in one person, but also in others.

You are still here? Welcome on board. Please fasten your seat belts

I hear the plane's engine, look out of the window, take a deep breath and close my eyes. The journey starts…